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07 May 2012
30 April 2012
Not a warrior
Hey gang. I've been feeling a bit down lately.
But first: On my laziness combat plan, I have been going to more parks, joined the YMCA, started sewing, but I'm still working on all of these things and trying to remembers friends.
I'm trying to keep video journals of my gym progress. Here's uploaded #1.
ETA: ending on an upper! a video from the park today...
Feeding ducks!
But first: On my laziness combat plan, I have been going to more parks, joined the YMCA, started sewing, but I'm still working on all of these things and trying to remembers friends.
I'm trying to keep video journals of my gym progress. Here's uploaded #1.
ETA: ending on an upper! a video from the park today...
Feeding ducks!
08 April 2012
I'm not lazy...plus other related news (this is a LONG post)
So on Facebook today, I put as my status:
I was talking to a friend. He hates educational institutions; I can't get away from them because I love them so. (There's a difference.) He's motivational, because he's disciplined. Something I need desperately to learn. I asked him how he's made it so far. He talked and said near the end "and I'm not lazy." BAM.
I was upset. But why?
He said nothing to attack me. He didn't even mention me. I took offense, because laziness is one of my flaws. I find myself to be terribly lazy. I find myself wanting the structure of school, of someone to push me to do something. I want others to hold me accountable more than I want to hold myself accountable.
Not with everything, mind you. Especially not with work (thank goodness). But I am, for the most part, lazy. I would rather complain than fix and I hate that I complain so much. Oh, what a nasty circle.
Anywhoo, I've been taking strides to better my mind and better my life and not be so lazy and to really fix myself up.
I think this kick really started when a different friend sent me this video (opens in new window). That is Shawn Achor. He talks about happiness. We have this skewed idea that success===>happiness. It's the other way around. WATCH IT.
Then I started thinking about my own happiness and what that actually means to me. Conveniently, at that time, I also was gearing up to go to NYC and Boston.
NYC
Stayed with a friend. Walked the Brooklyn Bridge. Saw a free night of one-act plays. Ate at Spotting Pig. Went to NJ. Walked around Central Park. It was delightful. delightful. New York is beautiful and cultured and really a magical place to be.
I also went to a few Apple stores (because I'm a nerd). But I really had a splendid time.
Boston
In Boston I was able to relax. I woke up, did crosswords, drank tea (tons of it!), talked my friends' ears off, socialized, really came back to myself. I gained perspective on a lot of things (and then lost it again in Charlotte, and then found it again). I came to love Boston. I hope to go to graduate school there. It feels...right, somehow.
Charleston
Did a 10k. w00t.
Back home
I knew I had to make changes in my life. I have to not be lazy. I have to be the only motivation for me. So here's the plan!
1. Go to as many parks on as many days as possible! I've always loved parks. As a youngin', my daddy would take me all over. I would swing and love it and play and just relax at parks. Then in high school, my neighborhood park became kind of a social hub for my friends. Don't know what to do? Go there. Talk. Be together. Parks and trails bring about a peace in me. Can't explain it. Need more of it in my life.
2. Start dancing. or something. I keep talking about wanting to learn to dance so I'm just going to go do it! Even if I have to teach myself for a while and that mostly consist of hopping up and down in my house with the music on blast. I'm going to dance. I'm going to shake my tail feather (hah!).
3. Clean. I need to clean my house. I'm giving myself a list of chores to do every day or every night (depending on my work schedule). I need to do the dishes every night. vacuum 2x a week. laundry every night until i'm done. i'm going to get my home spotless. and that requires diligence.
4. Read Intuitive Eating. My best friend told me to, because it would help me, and I haven't yet. So I'm gonna. No excuses.
5. Sew! I found some really cute patterns for a sundress and skirt and cute fabric, so I'm gonna make myself some clothes. (I got 2x more fabric than I needed, so if anyone has requests, I'm taking them!)
6. Remember that I do have friends. and family. I have people I can go to when I need help. I'm not alone.
7. Stop being lazy. Simple as that.
'and I'm not lazy,' he said, the autodidact. {autodidact: the self-taught man} fucking structured education. Learning for the sake of knowing. Knowing for the sake of living. People fall into two groups regarding life-- living and surviving. Surviving implying, of course, that they are victims. I want to live inside outside upside down. It's the only way I want to know how.Let me explain.
I was talking to a friend. He hates educational institutions; I can't get away from them because I love them so. (There's a difference.) He's motivational, because he's disciplined. Something I need desperately to learn. I asked him how he's made it so far. He talked and said near the end "and I'm not lazy." BAM.
I was upset. But why?
He said nothing to attack me. He didn't even mention me. I took offense, because laziness is one of my flaws. I find myself to be terribly lazy. I find myself wanting the structure of school, of someone to push me to do something. I want others to hold me accountable more than I want to hold myself accountable.
Not with everything, mind you. Especially not with work (thank goodness). But I am, for the most part, lazy. I would rather complain than fix and I hate that I complain so much. Oh, what a nasty circle.
Anywhoo, I've been taking strides to better my mind and better my life and not be so lazy and to really fix myself up.
I think this kick really started when a different friend sent me this video (opens in new window). That is Shawn Achor. He talks about happiness. We have this skewed idea that success===>happiness. It's the other way around. WATCH IT.
Then I started thinking about my own happiness and what that actually means to me. Conveniently, at that time, I also was gearing up to go to NYC and Boston.
NYC
Stayed with a friend. Walked the Brooklyn Bridge. Saw a free night of one-act plays. Ate at Spotting Pig. Went to NJ. Walked around Central Park. It was delightful. delightful. New York is beautiful and cultured and really a magical place to be.
 |
| Gabe and me on the Brooklyn Bridge. Beautiful Day. There's a building to the left of his face, looks like little boxes, I was obsessed with it. |
 | ||
| Chinatown. $2. |
 |
| View from the Winter Gardens. |
 |
| Central Park. |
 | ||||||||||||||||
| I was obsessed with the tree behind me. |
Boston
In Boston I was able to relax. I woke up, did crosswords, drank tea (tons of it!), talked my friends' ears off, socialized, really came back to myself. I gained perspective on a lot of things (and then lost it again in Charlotte, and then found it again). I came to love Boston. I hope to go to graduate school there. It feels...right, somehow.
Charleston
Did a 10k. w00t.
Back home
I knew I had to make changes in my life. I have to not be lazy. I have to be the only motivation for me. So here's the plan!
1. Go to as many parks on as many days as possible! I've always loved parks. As a youngin', my daddy would take me all over. I would swing and love it and play and just relax at parks. Then in high school, my neighborhood park became kind of a social hub for my friends. Don't know what to do? Go there. Talk. Be together. Parks and trails bring about a peace in me. Can't explain it. Need more of it in my life.
 |
| Saw this little guy on the trail the other day! |
3. Clean. I need to clean my house. I'm giving myself a list of chores to do every day or every night (depending on my work schedule). I need to do the dishes every night. vacuum 2x a week. laundry every night until i'm done. i'm going to get my home spotless. and that requires diligence.
4. Read Intuitive Eating. My best friend told me to, because it would help me, and I haven't yet. So I'm gonna. No excuses.
5. Sew! I found some really cute patterns for a sundress and skirt and cute fabric, so I'm gonna make myself some clothes. (I got 2x more fabric than I needed, so if anyone has requests, I'm taking them!)
 |
| For the skirt. It'll have slight pleats and a sash! |
 |
| For the sundress. Oh la la! |
6. Remember that I do have friends. and family. I have people I can go to when I need help. I'm not alone.
7. Stop being lazy. Simple as that.
13 February 2012
A Special V-Day Treat!
Hello hello!
nearly exactly two months since my last post. So much has happened. Too much to talk about just yet.
I have a special v-day treat. a nice little online mixtape for all you lovely listeners!
love in three sections....
I tried to find songs that aren't as well known
all links open in a new window
THE REALITY?
Fisher//Mad Girl's Love Song
Jaymay//Grey or Blue
Postal Service//Nothing Better
THE REALIZATION
Florence + the Machine//Drumming Song
Sky Ferreira//Animal (Miike Snow cover) (this cover feels more painful than the original. more about how it feels to battle yourself)
Eisley//I Wasn't Prepared
Rocco de Luca + the Burden//Colorful
Christine Kane//The Good You Do
THE REAL
Of Montreal//Wraith Pinned to the Mist (and other games)
Regina Spektor//I Want to Sing
Fruit Bats//Earthquake of '73
Tracy Chapman//Happy
Over the Rhine//Born (this song may seem an unusual choice. in an interview, the lead singer explained that she and her partner would open a bottle of wine each night for a while and simply talk until the wine was finished. it was an act to learn more about each other rather than get drunk)
Death Cab for Cutie//A Lack of Colour
Enjoy!
<3 <3 <3
nearly exactly two months since my last post. So much has happened. Too much to talk about just yet.
I have a special v-day treat. a nice little online mixtape for all you lovely listeners!
love in three sections....
I tried to find songs that aren't as well known
all links open in a new window
THE REALITY?
Fisher//Mad Girl's Love Song
Jaymay//Grey or Blue
Postal Service//Nothing Better
THE REALIZATION
Florence + the Machine//Drumming Song
Sky Ferreira//Animal (Miike Snow cover) (this cover feels more painful than the original. more about how it feels to battle yourself)
Eisley//I Wasn't Prepared
Rocco de Luca + the Burden//Colorful
Christine Kane//The Good You Do
THE REAL
Of Montreal//Wraith Pinned to the Mist (and other games)
Regina Spektor//I Want to Sing
Fruit Bats//Earthquake of '73
Tracy Chapman//Happy
Over the Rhine//Born (this song may seem an unusual choice. in an interview, the lead singer explained that she and her partner would open a bottle of wine each night for a while and simply talk until the wine was finished. it was an act to learn more about each other rather than get drunk)
Death Cab for Cutie//A Lack of Colour
Enjoy!
<3 <3 <3
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