So before I delve into this entry, I'm going to give a sidenote. I love calling this season Autumn and not Fall. It's more specific and it looks and sounds prettier.
Anywho, sorry I've been away for such a long time. I've gotten lost in all my excitement.
1. New Job. Woooooo! I'm gonna get paid soooooooon!!!
2. I am gearing up for graduate school/programs for last year. On the list in the US are Stanford, UC-Davis, and UNC. For overseas, I'm looking at Uni Münster and Uni Marburg (through DAAD). I'm looking at CBYX, a language immersion class, uni semester, and internship program. AND I'VE DECIDED TO APPLY TO CAMBRIDGE. Like, the one in the UK. True story. So I've been incredibly busy finding recs, writing essays, and filling out apps and such. And training for my new job.
3. I need to exercise again. I'm tired a lot (from #1 and 2), but I need to get moving and de-stress that way. ugggggh.
4. I've been doing my own research on Food Culture. I've become best friends with the library; I attended a presentation and meeting at Chapel Hill, and I'm trying to meet people in CLT. Apparently UNC-Charlotte is developing a sustainability program? awesome!
5. I've ALSO been marathoning through Q.I. I think that's my favourite show.
I don't know what else to write except thanks all for reading! and i won't find out about these grad schools and such until (at the earliest) March. boo.
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
21 September 2011
23 August 2011
feast or famine
So let me just start this off with: boy, I can be so depressing sometimes! I want this blog to reflect me--all of me--and aide me in my journey. So let's recap what's been going on.
Mum said to me: you're so afraid that the move you make will be a mistake, that you're not even moving. and boy, did that stick. that stuck good. I repeat that in my head a few times a day, especially when I need to make a decision.
These decisions include
1. Job. I have been approached for interviews, information, or job offers four times in the past week. That's one of those "feast or famine" situations. I have been struggling so much to find a job, or decide where to live, or any of that, and I have finally started to see results. I have accepted one position as petsitter (to pay for bills while I research...more on that in a minute). I hope to gain a position as "Location manager" for a local csa (not paid in money, paid in food! yum!). And perhaps another position at another local business (more info may be coming soon).
2. Research. I need to continue my research. I've checked out books, borrowed from friends, compiled a list of people around here, compiled websites, and I'm ready. well...almost. I need to set up my "office" and get my rear in gear! I am so excited to continue this. My first topic is the locavore movement/presence in CLT.
3. Grad School. I'm applying. The application goes up in September; due date end of November. I'm gonna make it. I know what I want.
In other news, cleaning house. petsitting. visited chapel hill, that was great. visiting it in early September for a German symphony concert!! things are looking up.
Mum said to me: you're so afraid that the move you make will be a mistake, that you're not even moving. and boy, did that stick. that stuck good. I repeat that in my head a few times a day, especially when I need to make a decision.
These decisions include
1. Job. I have been approached for interviews, information, or job offers four times in the past week. That's one of those "feast or famine" situations. I have been struggling so much to find a job, or decide where to live, or any of that, and I have finally started to see results. I have accepted one position as petsitter (to pay for bills while I research...more on that in a minute). I hope to gain a position as "Location manager" for a local csa (not paid in money, paid in food! yum!). And perhaps another position at another local business (more info may be coming soon).
2. Research. I need to continue my research. I've checked out books, borrowed from friends, compiled a list of people around here, compiled websites, and I'm ready. well...almost. I need to set up my "office" and get my rear in gear! I am so excited to continue this. My first topic is the locavore movement/presence in CLT.
3. Grad School. I'm applying. The application goes up in September; due date end of November. I'm gonna make it. I know what I want.
In other news, cleaning house. petsitting. visited chapel hill, that was great. visiting it in early September for a German symphony concert!! things are looking up.
03 August 2011
new food and motivation
updates from other posts:
thanks Colleen for the leggings solution--works like a charm.
Savor is an excellent book! I highly recommend for anyone who wants to seriously improve mindfulness in their life. The book speaks to both eating and living mindfully. It gives suggestions for realistic increments of mindfulness, including a month's worth of increasing breathing techniques. Since I've read this book, I'm starting to really understand what "focusing on breath" means. It's establishing a relationship between the brain and breath, the brain and body. The book provides some breathing meditations and sayings of thanks for everyday activities. (In fact, it reminds me greatly of Christian teachings and Thich Nhat Hanh's other book Living Budda, Living Christ.)
I've tried some new food.
Mung beans. I forget where I learned about these, but basically a bean of East Asia. Tiny and green, kind of look like peas. I think they taste like peas, but less strong. Not my favourite. I'll probably only eat them again if they're in a dish at a restaurant or dinner party or something.
Azuki beans. Also from East Asia, but mostly used in desserts. They are ovular, brown, and yummy! I like them a lot-- they remind me of non-schmushy pinto beans. Pretty good. I'll be finding good recipes for them.
Kale. not new, but a new recipe! Mum actually bought some from Earthfare for me with soy sauce and sesame seeds. It was so good. Seriously. Kale has a special place on my plate. highly recommended!
Quinoa. Also not new, but a new recipe, also from Earthfare. This had quinoa, raisins, diced apples, and cilantro. I nice mixture of sweet and a bit tangy. yum!
Almond milk. Also not new! The plain milk tastes sooo good; it's a bit sweeter than cow milk. I like it best in cereal, but that's really the only time I drink milk now. I find it doesn't bloat me out as much and it isn't has heavy and thick to me. The same applies to chocolate milk, which doesn't have the thickness that I hate in cow milk but still retains a nice flavor. I have a glass every night now.
***
As far as mindfulness goes, I haven't focused on myself as much. I'm getting lost again in life's stresses and what I'm expected to do. Searching for a job is one of those stresses. But more on that later--I'm still waiting to hear from some important places. I need to re-focus my mind. I need to clean my room and kitchen, establish a quiet place, and allow silence to comfort me. I like relying on myself for happiness right now. It's like learning to trust myself again. Not just my instincts, but my being.
Week plans include continuing to apply for jobs, exercising, stopping nightly snacking, cleaning, and really listening to myself. Also trying out this electrolyte-drink recipe.
thanks Colleen for the leggings solution--works like a charm.
Savor is an excellent book! I highly recommend for anyone who wants to seriously improve mindfulness in their life. The book speaks to both eating and living mindfully. It gives suggestions for realistic increments of mindfulness, including a month's worth of increasing breathing techniques. Since I've read this book, I'm starting to really understand what "focusing on breath" means. It's establishing a relationship between the brain and breath, the brain and body. The book provides some breathing meditations and sayings of thanks for everyday activities. (In fact, it reminds me greatly of Christian teachings and Thich Nhat Hanh's other book Living Budda, Living Christ.)
I've tried some new food.
Mung beans. I forget where I learned about these, but basically a bean of East Asia. Tiny and green, kind of look like peas. I think they taste like peas, but less strong. Not my favourite. I'll probably only eat them again if they're in a dish at a restaurant or dinner party or something.
Azuki beans. Also from East Asia, but mostly used in desserts. They are ovular, brown, and yummy! I like them a lot-- they remind me of non-schmushy pinto beans. Pretty good. I'll be finding good recipes for them.
Kale. not new, but a new recipe! Mum actually bought some from Earthfare for me with soy sauce and sesame seeds. It was so good. Seriously. Kale has a special place on my plate. highly recommended!
Quinoa. Also not new, but a new recipe, also from Earthfare. This had quinoa, raisins, diced apples, and cilantro. I nice mixture of sweet and a bit tangy. yum!
Almond milk. Also not new! The plain milk tastes sooo good; it's a bit sweeter than cow milk. I like it best in cereal, but that's really the only time I drink milk now. I find it doesn't bloat me out as much and it isn't has heavy and thick to me. The same applies to chocolate milk, which doesn't have the thickness that I hate in cow milk but still retains a nice flavor. I have a glass every night now.
***
As far as mindfulness goes, I haven't focused on myself as much. I'm getting lost again in life's stresses and what I'm expected to do. Searching for a job is one of those stresses. But more on that later--I'm still waiting to hear from some important places. I need to re-focus my mind. I need to clean my room and kitchen, establish a quiet place, and allow silence to comfort me. I like relying on myself for happiness right now. It's like learning to trust myself again. Not just my instincts, but my being.
Week plans include continuing to apply for jobs, exercising, stopping nightly snacking, cleaning, and really listening to myself. Also trying out this electrolyte-drink recipe.
16 July 2011
Getting started
the first post. i've historically been terrible at keeping a blog, but i need this. i'm not planning on giving out this blog address yet, but if you do come across it, feel free to follow.
this story isn't quite linear, so i'll start it at the latest turning point. a month ago (and two days after my 22nd birthday), my girlfriend of 3.5 years and i broke up. why? well frankly we fell out of love. but a major component of that is I don't truly know myself. I thought this ridiculous--of course i knew myself! i knew who i was with everyone else, and just because i couldn't pinpoint the exact reason why animal prints or dill spices bother me, i knew myself pretty well. not true. i could define myself. but know myself? know the ins and outs--how i think, why i'm attracted to certain subjects, my deepest passions--no i don't think i know that.
when you combine that with multiple attempts to lose weight (more on that in a minute), rid myself of depression, and finding a job, i felt and still feel trapped in a cycle. i need to break free. rather than trying to avoid these things like usual, i've decided to turn inward. i'm taking a good look at myself. and i think it'll be for the best. i'm learning to live mindfully. some may call me a hippie (they're allowed), but i'm ready to add ancient medicine, eft, meditation, and mindfulness into my life.
a little bit more background:
weight
when i was 9, i suddenly began gaining weight. i blame puberty. but since then, i've always been chubby and feeling sorry for myself. i've "tried" losing weight, meaning that i've exercised and watched what i ate, like you're supposed to. but i never saw enough progress to keep me motivated. now, i'm thinking that my mind is keeping me from achieving my goal.
depression
started freshman year of college. first started with anxiety and then developed into severe depression. impossible to get rid of. i'm hesitant to use too many medications, because, likewise, i believe i am preventing myself from being happy. i also didn't realize, really, the stigma attached to depression. it is a viable medical condition, not something that can be *wished* away.
job
oh the joys of finding a job.
so, like i said, i'm trying to become more mindful and know myself. such a difficult journey! i have found a few books to aid me in my quest. the first two were gifts. list your self really is a book of lists--each page has a prompt, and you list things accordingly. how you do anything is how you do everything is a workbook based on eastern philosophies, involving life, lifestyles, and thoughts. savor, a book by thich nhat hahn and dr lilian cheung, focuses on eating mindfully as a way to live mindfully. by truly paying attention to how and what you eat, you release yourself from negative eating patterns. and finally, shift teaches the reader how to use eastern techniques to allow for positive thinking and ridding of negative thinking.
i'm also forcing myself to work out, involving myself in a running program. and i'm planning to clean out anything from my room that i do not need or use regularly. it's time to gain my life and mind back. i need to learn to make myself happy. and i think everything else will fall into place.
this story isn't quite linear, so i'll start it at the latest turning point. a month ago (and two days after my 22nd birthday), my girlfriend of 3.5 years and i broke up. why? well frankly we fell out of love. but a major component of that is I don't truly know myself. I thought this ridiculous--of course i knew myself! i knew who i was with everyone else, and just because i couldn't pinpoint the exact reason why animal prints or dill spices bother me, i knew myself pretty well. not true. i could define myself. but know myself? know the ins and outs--how i think, why i'm attracted to certain subjects, my deepest passions--no i don't think i know that.
when you combine that with multiple attempts to lose weight (more on that in a minute), rid myself of depression, and finding a job, i felt and still feel trapped in a cycle. i need to break free. rather than trying to avoid these things like usual, i've decided to turn inward. i'm taking a good look at myself. and i think it'll be for the best. i'm learning to live mindfully. some may call me a hippie (they're allowed), but i'm ready to add ancient medicine, eft, meditation, and mindfulness into my life.
a little bit more background:
weight
when i was 9, i suddenly began gaining weight. i blame puberty. but since then, i've always been chubby and feeling sorry for myself. i've "tried" losing weight, meaning that i've exercised and watched what i ate, like you're supposed to. but i never saw enough progress to keep me motivated. now, i'm thinking that my mind is keeping me from achieving my goal.
depression
started freshman year of college. first started with anxiety and then developed into severe depression. impossible to get rid of. i'm hesitant to use too many medications, because, likewise, i believe i am preventing myself from being happy. i also didn't realize, really, the stigma attached to depression. it is a viable medical condition, not something that can be *wished* away.
job
oh the joys of finding a job.
so, like i said, i'm trying to become more mindful and know myself. such a difficult journey! i have found a few books to aid me in my quest. the first two were gifts. list your self really is a book of lists--each page has a prompt, and you list things accordingly. how you do anything is how you do everything is a workbook based on eastern philosophies, involving life, lifestyles, and thoughts. savor, a book by thich nhat hahn and dr lilian cheung, focuses on eating mindfully as a way to live mindfully. by truly paying attention to how and what you eat, you release yourself from negative eating patterns. and finally, shift teaches the reader how to use eastern techniques to allow for positive thinking and ridding of negative thinking.
i'm also forcing myself to work out, involving myself in a running program. and i'm planning to clean out anything from my room that i do not need or use regularly. it's time to gain my life and mind back. i need to learn to make myself happy. and i think everything else will fall into place.
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